Let’s talk about patriarchy

*Note: I use two songs in this post and neither of them belong to me. Also, the entire lyrics to both songs are listed below*

Let’s talk about teaching women not to be confident. Let’s talk about teaching women to value themselves and let’s talk about the only way women are taught they can be valued. Let’s talk about the song ‘You Don’t Know You're Beautiful’ sung by One Direction. Let’s talk about the lyrics ‘You don't know you're beautiful/ That’s what makes you beautiful!’ Let’s unpack that lyric for a moment, shall we? Let’s take the idea that the woman, the ‘you’ in the song is beautiful because she fucking lacks self confidence. Let’s put aside, for a moment, the fact that the singer  invalidates the ‘you’s choice to wear make up (‘Don’t need make up/ To cover up’). Let’s put aside the fact that the only trait ‘you’ has is being beautiful and self conscious, and let’s talk for a second about women’s lack of confidence. 

Let’s talk about the song ‘Love yourself’ sung by Justin Beiber wherein the crimes brought against ‘you’ are numbered. For one thing, the narrator’s mother never liked ‘you’ (‘My momma don’t like you/ And she likes everyone’), for another ‘you’ still calls the narrator (‘You still hit my phone up’), ‘you’ rained on the narrator’s parade, ‘you’ told the narrator she didn’t like his friends. But (here comes the crux of the song) the real crime of ‘you’ comes in the chorus: ‘Cause if you like the way you look that much/ Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself/ And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin’/ You should go and love yourself’. So ‘you’ likes the way she looks and that’s her crime? She should go love herself because she’s vain? Because self love is punishment for a woman? Let’s talk about the fact that even though the narrator is saying ‘love yourself’ it pretty clearly means, go fuck yourself. Because this woman likes how she looks. Among other things, her self confidence (or vanity, if you prefer, they’re really two names for the same thing) is the only crime in the song repeated (five times actually) and the last verse talks about ‘all the times that you made me feel small’. Sure, this could be a legitimate issue, it is unhealthy to be with a partner who makes you feel small. But in the context of ‘you’ liking the way she looks, it seems like ‘you’ has just made the narrator feel small by having self confidence.

Moral of the story: If you’re a woman, don’t have self confidence if you want to find a man which is the only way you can value yourself anyway. 

[Subtext to the above statement: AAHHAHAHAHAH FUCK THE PATRIARCHY! I HATE THAT I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT THIS IS SARCASTIC BUT IT’S HARD TO TELL SARCASM IN PRINT AND I’M TERRIFIED THAT THERE’S EVEN A CHANCE THAT ANYONE WOULD TAKE THAT SERIOUSLY BUT THERE IS AND I’M SO ANGRY]

Today’s rage fueled rant is brought to you by me listening to the presidential debates and screaming at the radio. Please vote for Hilary.

Lyrics:

‘You Don’t Know You're Beautiful’ sung by One Direction

You don’t know 

You're insecure,

Don't know what for,

You're turning heads when you walk through the do-o-or,

Don't need make up

To cover up,

Being the way that you are is eno-o-ough,

Everyone else in the room can see it,

Everyone else but you

Chorus:

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed,

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell,

You don't know oh-oh!

You don't know you're beautiful!

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know oh-oh!

You don't know you're beautiful oh-oh!

That's what makes you beautiful!

So c-come on

You got it wrong

To prove I'm right I put it in a so-o-ong

I don't know why

You're being shy

And turn away when I look into your ey-ey-eyes

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

[chorus again several times]

‘Love yourself’ sung by Justin Beiber

For all the times that you rain on my parade

And all the clubs you get in using my name

You think you broke my heart, oh, girl for goodness' sake

You think I'm crying on my own. Well, I ain't

And I didn't wanna write a song

'Cause I didn't want anyone thinking I still care. I don't,

But you still hit my phone up

And, baby, I be movin' on

And I think you should be somethin' I don't wanna hold back,

Maybe you should know that

My mama don't like you and she likes everyone

And I never like to admit that I was wrong

And I've been so caught up in my job,

Didn't see what's going on

But now I know,

I'm better sleeping on my own

Chorus:

'Cause if you like the way you look that much

Oh, baby, you should go and love yourself

And if you think that I'm still holdin' on to somethin'

You should go and love yourself

And when you told me that you hated my friends

The only problem was with you and not them

And every time you told me my opinion was wrong

And tried to make me forget where I came from

[Chorus]

For all the times that you made me feel small

I fell in love. Now I feel nothin' at all

And never felt so low when I was vulnerable

Was I a fool to let you break down my walls?

[Chorus repeated several time]