Instructions:
Chose a spot for the tent. Make sure it’s relatively smooth. Make sure it’s relatively physically and emotionally stable spot. If you check the spot and find lots of bumps or branches or your entire tent site is on a big hill, really just move your tent. Don't make it more complicated then it needs to be. Just pick up the tent and move it. You haven't set up the tent yet. You haven't committed to anything, just move it.
Read the tent instructions. Really, for once in your life, just read the instructions before you set it up. You have a little booklet. It'll take maybe two minutes and save several hours of frustration and confusion. Just read it. Really. If there are no directions, I guess that's just better for you then, isn't it?
Unless the instructions say otherwise, put together the poles. Again, see the previous comment about how following the instructions make life easier. The poles should go together relatively easily. If you have to force them together you're probably doing something wrong. They should go together without any effort. Just a little twist. A little pushing. Barely. Still not going together? Like, would you even consider foreplay? Like, maybe just consider touching the pole's . . . clitoris? Or using some . . . tent . . . lube. Don't fucking force the poles, ok?
Spread the tent out. Just like, look at the tent. Notice which way the bottom of the tent lays flat. Notice where the tent goes. You don't have to judge the tent. Maybe just observe the tent where the poles prop it up. This isn't an opportunity for you to tell the tent that maybe it looks a little heavy in this light. Don't tell the tent that it could maybe lay off the wheat thins and go for a jog once in a while. Well, maybe the tent is a grad student with a full time job and needs easy calories and literally doesn't have any extra time or energy to go for a job. Maybe the tent is comfortable in its own body and doesn't need your fucking negativity in this space any more.
This part may be hard for you but if you can wrap your mind around it, now would be the time to use the poles to set up the tent. I know the idea of actually supporting anything is crazy to you. Why build something up when you could tear it down? Right? And the idea actually providing support? literally un-fucking-conceivable. You dick. Put the poles in the fucking tent. Or throw them in the fucking garbage. I literally care so fucking little. Do you see the fucks I have to give? That's right, you don't. Because I don't have any fucks to give anymore. None. None at all.
Now you have a tent. Congrat-u-fucking-lations. I never loved you anyway. Dipshit. I hope you die alone in your fucking tent.
Read the tent instructions. Really, for once in your life, just read the instructions before you set it up. You have a little booklet. It'll take maybe two minutes and save several hours of frustration and confusion. Just read it. Really. If there are no directions, I guess that's just better for you then, isn't it?
Unless the instructions say otherwise, put together the poles. Again, see the previous comment about how following the instructions make life easier. The poles should go together relatively easily. If you have to force them together you're probably doing something wrong. They should go together without any effort. Just a little twist. A little pushing. Barely. Still not going together? Like, would you even consider foreplay? Like, maybe just consider touching the pole's . . . clitoris? Or using some . . . tent . . . lube. Don't fucking force the poles, ok?
Spread the tent out. Just like, look at the tent. Notice which way the bottom of the tent lays flat. Notice where the tent goes. You don't have to judge the tent. Maybe just observe the tent where the poles prop it up. This isn't an opportunity for you to tell the tent that maybe it looks a little heavy in this light. Don't tell the tent that it could maybe lay off the wheat thins and go for a jog once in a while. Well, maybe the tent is a grad student with a full time job and needs easy calories and literally doesn't have any extra time or energy to go for a job. Maybe the tent is comfortable in its own body and doesn't need your fucking negativity in this space any more.
This part may be hard for you but if you can wrap your mind around it, now would be the time to use the poles to set up the tent. I know the idea of actually supporting anything is crazy to you. Why build something up when you could tear it down? Right? And the idea actually providing support? literally un-fucking-conceivable. You dick. Put the poles in the fucking tent. Or throw them in the fucking garbage. I literally care so fucking little. Do you see the fucks I have to give? That's right, you don't. Because I don't have any fucks to give anymore. None. None at all.
Now you have a tent. Congrat-u-fucking-lations. I never loved you anyway. Dipshit. I hope you die alone in your fucking tent.
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