Monday, April 19, 2021

Day 19: Water Lillies

Monet's water lilies are the John Mulaney of art

Unobjectionable and bland and appealing to the lowest common denominator. 

If a man tells you Monet is his favorite artist 

His favorite food is also probably buttered pasta or plain rice


Also, anyone who tells you Van Gough ate paint probably makes more then seventy-five grand a year 

You're not a shitty person because you're from a class of people who like Monet 

(or so I tell myself) 

You're a shitty person because you never bothered to google 

Kent Monkman or Wangechi Mutu or Keith Haring


The other day my friend advised me to invest in a retirement account

I advised him that not only would I never have that much money as a teacher but also

That Boston and New York city will be destroyed by rising sea levels in the next 30 years 

And also that I didn't think Monet was "ahead of his time"

Which was probably confusing given that we were talking about the stock market. 


When the world is ending and the nastiest thing you can say about your Nazi rapist (former) president is that he's 

"like a horse" 

Can you explain to me why that's funny?

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