Melody Dean

Inspired by Amanda Palmer's  Melody Dean

Today I fucked him but I wanted it to be you

And I thought about how you told me babies forget how to make their own heart beat

Without the heartbeat of a parent to keep track for them

Sometimes I think my heart is forgetting to beat

And I'm forgetting to breathe

Sometimes I come home at the end of the day and I realize my jaw is clenched tight

But I don't know how long it's been like this and I worry my face will get stuck

And I miss you like a house on fire

And I don't know what to save 

So in the confusion and the burning rubble

And the family photos floating in ashes through the air 

I fucked him

But I wanted to fuck you