Happy new year readers (who I assume exist because right now I’m in a good mood)! Today I wanted to talk about astrology.
Here’s the thing: I’m a taurus. This is an earth sign. A fixed earth sign, specifically, known for being “stable, gentle, tolerant folk” and “practical, hard working, and full of common sense”. Sometimes, earth signs are interpreted as physical, and even sensual and this I can relate to. I think of myself as often very present, sometimes to a fault. Touch is a huge sense for me, I love platonic and sexual touch. More literally I am hard working, suborn and sensible. I sometimes care for others when I am in need of emotional comfort; this is a common taurus trait. I love working with the earth; I’m a farmer for fucks sake! All of this fits the profile.
On the other hand, I am not stable. I’m literally a homeless nomad. I’m neurotypical but within the spectrum of what is neurotypical I experience strong mood swings, sometimes for the smallest reason. I have a short attention span, I’m good emotional support when necessary but I’m mostly a bad listener. Some days I feel so ungrounded I’m not sure where I’m standing. I often wake in unfamiliar beds, and I think I’m never going to be in a monogamous relationship. I’m certainly not prone to jealousy, as one astrology website suggested. I’m spontaneous, I have trouble planning ahead and I pick up and adopt the habits of people around me with ease (psychologists call this ‘chameleon-ing’). All of these things are far outside the expectations of behavior for a taurus.
I’m not prone to buying into astrology but, like most personality systems, I think I can learn from it. I definitely want to work on feeling more grounded, on developing and staying true to myself. On the other hand, I don’t plan on settling down with any partners and I don’t want to be jealous. I don’t want to stop traveling and I don’t want to lose my spontaneity. And that’s the other thing: I’m nineteen. Sometimes I forget because most of the people in my life are college graduates, twenty-two and older, but I’m not supposed to be grounded at nineteen. Everything feels important now at nineteen; immediate and extreme and sometimes I feel like I might float away and that’s not a bad thing. Admittedly, I’ll be twenty in a few months but I’m young and even though some day I’d like to behave in some ways more like a textbook taurus, I still have plenty of time.
On the other hand, I am not stable. I’m literally a homeless nomad. I’m neurotypical but within the spectrum of what is neurotypical I experience strong mood swings, sometimes for the smallest reason. I have a short attention span, I’m good emotional support when necessary but I’m mostly a bad listener. Some days I feel so ungrounded I’m not sure where I’m standing. I often wake in unfamiliar beds, and I think I’m never going to be in a monogamous relationship. I’m certainly not prone to jealousy, as one astrology website suggested. I’m spontaneous, I have trouble planning ahead and I pick up and adopt the habits of people around me with ease (psychologists call this ‘chameleon-ing’). All of these things are far outside the expectations of behavior for a taurus.
I’m not prone to buying into astrology but, like most personality systems, I think I can learn from it. I definitely want to work on feeling more grounded, on developing and staying true to myself. On the other hand, I don’t plan on settling down with any partners and I don’t want to be jealous. I don’t want to stop traveling and I don’t want to lose my spontaneity. And that’s the other thing: I’m nineteen. Sometimes I forget because most of the people in my life are college graduates, twenty-two and older, but I’m not supposed to be grounded at nineteen. Everything feels important now at nineteen; immediate and extreme and sometimes I feel like I might float away and that’s not a bad thing. Admittedly, I’ll be twenty in a few months but I’m young and even though some day I’d like to behave in some ways more like a textbook taurus, I still have plenty of time.
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