Happy new year!

Two years ago I resolved to learn to say yes
To push away the fear and anxiety and remind myself that "Yes,
I am worthy of this." To tell myself that, "I deserve what I want
And what I want is to take the world by storm."
That year I left no stone unturned. I left my heart in shambles,
Picked up the pieces and hurled them into the sea.
That year I learned that nothing tases quite so sweet as a sunrise when
I wasn't sure if the night would end.

Last year I resolved to listen to myself
To hear that part of my gut that gently tugs my heartstrings,
Reminding me, "Maybe you shouldn't trust him."
Instinct is a glorious thing,
She's shy and dark haired but ignore her too long and she's teeth and fire and hurt.
Last year I built my own foundation with brick and mortar and swear and blood
Last year I learned the luxury of a warm bed
And the the way that a thick wall blocks out windchill.

This year I resolve to seek balance.
To know that every day is a new adventure and some days the adventure is
Watching Netflix in my room alone.
This year I want to eat three meals a day and not seven and not none.
I want to build community deliberately.
I will let those who I love into my life and leave those who are toxic in the proverbial cold.
I will take New York City by force and it will know me.
Which is to say maybe a few people will remember me when I'm through.
And that's as much as a rather small and rather young woman could hope for.