Beowulf parody: Act 1

Act 1

The first place Monya stopped, in her silver chariot

With her life packed in the back

Was a big brown house in the land of cows and dirt roads

And the cows greeted her with a sweetness

She had never tasted

And the roads rumbled their casual solitude

Every time Monya’s silver chariot rolled across them.

It was summertime in the land of cows and dirt roads

And the days were long and lazy

And filled with the ballads of Adele

And the smell of hay.

On one of her days of leisure, Monya, lover of dirt

Determined that that day of leisure would be the first test of her mettle

She stepped into the sunlight’s clear view

And bared her chest to that most powerful star.

The sun saw her and decided in her aloof curiosity

To send the most powerful of creatures, neither cruel nor kind

To pass judgement on Monya, lover of the earth.

The beast came out of the wood in tooth and claw and fur

And Monya opened her bare chest to the creature

And took it in her strong arms.

In it felt her wrap around it and judged her worthy.

And as it decided it melted back into the woods

As quickly as it came.

And thus Monya had proved her mettle in the first of her adventures

In the land of cows and dirt roads.

Monya met many brave women of the earth in that summertime

Eager to hear of her encounter with the creature of tooth and claw and fur

And boldest was Maddy with hair of sunlight

Who wiped dust from Monya’s face

And kissed Monya with lips as soft as the naked earth

And hands as rough as the raw mountaintops

And whispered kindness into the lopsided ears of her hound.

But Maddy with the sunlight hair and her lopsided hound

Disappeared with the dawn. They took Monya’s

Trousers for memories and Monya was left wander the dirt roads

In bare feet, search of the rising sun.

She looked about but the trees whispered taunts

And the ground prickled at her bare feet.

There were no signs of cows or other travelers

And then--

The smell of sun cooked hay

Monya breathed deeply and began to walk

With tired tread, and thus

She found the sun and her home.

That day in the land of cows and dirt roads

The sun rose and whispered death into the ear of the king of that land

So that he did make a sacrifice of birds of the sky

Who were earthbound with gluttony.

And the king of the land of cows and dirt roads

Called upon Monya, lover of the earth

To help with this sacrifice. So that she too

Did spill the blood of the birds of the sky.

And that day as she spilled blood

She listened to death work next to her.

And by the end of the day Monya, lover of the dirt

Had heard the secrets death whispers

In a voice too low for most souls to hear.

Death had told her of her next adventure

And so the next sunrise Monya, lover of dirt

Packed up her life in the back of her silver chariot

And drove again, into the sunset.