I cannot make the perfect tiktok video
And this fact brings me grave agony
Because I wish to cram everything I am into 60 seconds
And then post it on the internet for strangers to see and approve of
When I broke up with my third partner
They accused me of being afraid of intimacy
But fear is only to approach the true feeling as I would I skittish animal
I would not lie down next to a restless horse and say
"Know me"
Every line of my third partner's fingers are etched into my memory
But if I say this on tiktok for each work I say about
Their knuckles and the dips between their veins
There are ten, a hundred more about the fingers of my second love (now broken up)
And my fourth and fifth (currently ongoing).
If only I could pull my self out of my skull like a sword out of a stone
And gradually grind it down
And sharpen it to
60 seconds and then I could five it back to my third love and say
"There! These people who have never met me
They know me and they love me"
And I lay down next to the skittish horse that is my fear of being known and
It stood up and walked on two legs and
I filmed it and edited it and put it on my tiktok and
The strangers, they liked that too.
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