An open letter to my Spanish teacher

An open letter to my Spanish professor 
And your concern that you forcefully “outed” me when we were doing a class dialogue
Wherein you chose me to fill the role of mujer on a date with an hombre
And at the end instead of saying (in Spanish) I was tired and goodbye
I looked that hombre straight in the eye and said me gusta mujer
Which is a ballsy move except that it’s pretty bad Spanish and so
When you asked me to stay after class to assuage your own guilt that you had forcibly outed me
I found it simultaneously laughable and punitive.
Professora, if you didn’t know I was gay at this point may I direct you to
Exhibit A: My eyebrow piercing
Exhibit B: My Jewish stick and poke tattoos
Exhibit C: My undercut
Exhibit D: My sparkly lip-print crop top
Exhibit E: My literal ring of keys I carry to class
Exhibit F: The rainbow pin on the front of my bag that reads “Not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you”
I know it’s Spanish class but you can read English and I know everyone else can too
Professora, I have not been in the closet since before you knew what gay was
I know coming out is an ongoing process but it’s hard to imagine anyone anywhere considering me una heterosexual
And also, I had a bus to catch
And when you asked me to stay after and reassure you that my feelings hadn’t been hurt by my mid-class outburst of queerness
I was amused that you thought anything you had done had forced me out from between the cobwebbed coat hangers and moth-eaten fur coats and into the light and furthermore,
Professora, I have a bus to catch that doesn’t care about your guilt over being a bad feminist
And maybe you could take that guilt and include some queer-inclusive vocabulary so instead of saying me gusta mujer I could say yo soy una lesbiana and also
Have you considered that every example in the textbook is una mujer y un hombre and maybe also like including the genderneutral pronoun elle
Instead of holding me after class so that I could personally tell you that you shouldn’t feel guilty and
Don’t lose any sleep over it, professora, and don’t use this as a learning experience to change any of the curriculum and just maintain the status quo
No, I don’t mind missing my bus to soothe your ego, professora
But, as we learned to say in our job interview unit, gracias por la concideración.